This is a little something different, I wrote this 6 years ago, and I thought I would share, I hope you are blessed:
What do you do when you feel like you’ve just had a HUGE bucket of lemons thrown at you, and you don’t like lemonade?
What do you do when you see the dark cloud hovering above you and all the forecast says is “RAIN!”?
What do you do when you feel like nothing will ever make you smile again?
What do you do when you when your “1 – being happiest” chart seems to hopelessly be stuck on 10?
Wish I could just stop dwelling, on the things I can’t control
Wish could stop thinking of the rain, when I’m missing the great big rainbow
Why can’t I just let go when that’s what You want me to do?
Don’t regret, just forget, the wrong that’s in the past and look to You?
Your voice is always calm, every single recast time You remind me
To love instead of hate, to follow You instead of hesitate, to do what You do, despite me
Your patience is mind blowing, the way You catch me when I fall
When time and time again, I’ve done the opposite of what You say and ignored Your gentle call
But nevertheless, You speak, to my aching heart of stone
When it seems like my mind is far from You, and the loudest voice is my own
Why can’t I see the beauty of Your face and Your brilliant love instead of my selfish desires?
How I don’t have to prove anything, to You, how You love me the way I am, Your love is a consuming fire….
I must fix my eyes on You, Jesus, although Your beautiful face I can’t always see
It’s in these times of blindness, I reach out, I call out and say, “God use me!”
I can’t see where this is headed, I can’t see beyond the wall of clouds and rain
The lightning is brilliant, the thunder so loud, but Your voice Lord overcomes when I tune out the sound
But Lord the pain is there, I feel it, pain of things I still can’t control
And wishing things were different, instead of looking to what YOU hold
They say it will make me stronger, then why do I feel so weak?
It feels like I’m climbing an endless mountain and I just can’t see its peak
But here I am still struggling.. fighting to win this war
The attacker knows just what to do to keep me from what I was after before
In the days where life was clear.. I could see the stretch of land all around
And the sun so bright, the sky so light
And now it’s so blurry, can only see two feet in front of me
And the shadows are so big, they consume the light
But Jesus, Jesus, that’s your beautiful name.. You’ve been through all this before
That’s how you can say “Love, I can relate.. open your heart’s tightly closed door
I want to consume you, wrap my arms tight around you, NEVER stop chasing you
No matter how many times I see your back facing me
It’s when you turn back around, and get back off the ground
That I can make you who you should be.”
So my God I WILL trust You, though the pain is so deep
You are gentle yet mighty, so carry me
And I WILL NOT be afraid, for the promise You’ve made is.. You are made strong when I’m weak